Memorial Speech for Terrie Lee Bain

My mom had a kind, warm soul. Her love of reading and strong work ethic influenced me deeply.

What I thank her for the most is making such a big effort to read to me when I was very little and to encourage my love of books. Something that came naturally for a former children’s librarian.

She was a lifelong learner and loved reading.

She valued work ethic, but also taking care of others.

She valued the simple things in life, flowers and gardening, cooking, writing letters to family members on their birthdays and special occasions.

She valued stability and community — her father moved around a lot for the Air Force and so she wanted to stay in one place so I’d have a set of childhood friends. When friends came over she always welcomed them warmly. I owe my amazing set of supportive childhood friends that I’m still in touch with to her influence.

Mom always valued education and always reminded me how much her dad, my Grandpa Wildermuth valued education. He graduated from Stanford on the GI Bill and as I’m walking around campus I often wonder what he would have thought of his grandson being a professor there. Some of my earliest memories are of my mom going back to get her teaching certificate and master’s degree and seeing her studying late into the night despite having had a long day at work and having made dinner for us on top of it all.

When I got into Duke, dad and I were debating the cost of the tuition and whether I would get a scholarship to attend a local, state university. One day when I came home, to my surprise, Mom told me that she had mailed back in my Duke acceptance, committing me to go there. When I looked at her with concern and wondered if we could afford it, she just told me, don’t worry, I will find a way.

When I was away at college, she sent endless care packages and always encouraging me to write letters to relatives on their birthdays.

She always prepared for me all my favorite foods whenever I came home from school at the holidays. She told me that life wasn’t meant to live alone, life was meant to be shared with another.

For all her endless motherly worrying, she did love to have fun and be silly. She always reminded me that while it was important to work hard, it was also important to take time to celebrate the little successes along the way. One of the times I saw her laugh the hardest was when a friend and I came home from college. Mom had all these giant stuffed bunnies around the house for Easter and my friend started picking them up and making up stories about them. Mom loved the pure silliness and creativity of it and we had a great time recording videos of the little skits and then laughing as we replayed them for each other.

Finally, I have a few promises I’d like to make to my mom and all of you here today:

I promise to always be a lifelong learner and aim high, but also to take time out to enjoy the journey, to celebrate the small milestones and the little things along the way.

I promise to attempt to live a life that would make her proud. To give life my all, to be the friend she was to our family and friends, to follow the example that she set with her life to make the world a better place through education.

Today we will only put my mother’s body to rest. However, her spirit, her example of how she lived her life, her incredible ability to give is still with all of us. I feel it in the stories that people are sharing of how she touched their lives or the lives of their children. I see it in the eyes of our family and friends and above all, I feel it in myself and the way that she raised me. Things will never be the same, but the world is clearly better for the years that Terrie lived.