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Letter to Terrie, 18 March 1971 — 'It is up to you'
Charlie's letter to Terrie dated 18 March 1971. About 88 days left and the feeling improving. He has Terrie's letters of the 8th and 9th; in one she mentioned she still hadn't told her parents about the Hawaii plan. Charlie's posture here is deliberately low-pressure: it isn't vital that they meet in Hawaii, everything is set from his end and he can cancel at any date, and if her reasons — parents or studies — interfere he won't be hurt. It is up to her. He closes by reassuring her he still loves her and isn't trying to get rid of her, and that he'll wait for her reply.
What the letter is
18 March 1971. Three days after the catch-up batch of six letters reached him, Charlie writes back in a noticeably lighter register. 88 days left, and “a good feeling getting better.” He has Terrie’s letters of the 8th and 9th, one of which admitted she still hadn’t told her parents about the Hawaii plan. Rather than press, Charlie hands her the whole decision: the trip isn’t vital, he can cancel at any date, and if her parents or her studies get in the way he won’t be hurt. The reassurance at the end — I still love you and I’m not trying to get rid of you — is the giveaway that the low-pressure posture is itself a kind of anxiety, the careful wording of a man who badly wants the answer to be yes.
Transcription
Mar 18
Dear Terrie,
Everything is still fine here. I have about 88 days left and it is a good feeling getting better. I got your letters of 8-9 yesterday. In one you mentioned you had not told your parents yet. I hope they approve. It isn’t vital that we meet in Hawaii. 88 days and we will be together quite awhile. Everything is set from this end. I can cancel at any date and if your reasons (ie. parents or studies) interfere I won’t be hurt. It is up to you so — let me know when you get everything worked out one way or the other. I still love you and I’m not trying to get rid of you. I’ll be waiting for your reply to this letter.
Love Charles
What the letter records
“88 days and we will be together quite awhile.” The argument Charlie makes to himself as much as to Terrie: even if Hawaii falls through, the separation is nearly over. The countdown has dropped from the 101 of the 5 March letter, the “drops” steadily shortening the tour.
“If your reasons (ie. parents or studies) interfere I won’t be hurt.” The studied generosity here is doing a lot of work. Terrie was finishing a semester at the University of Maryland, and her parents had not yet been won over to a plan that amounted to marrying in order to make the trip. Charlie’s strategy across the spring is to remove every ounce of pressure and let her arrive at yes on her own — while making sure, in the last line, that she knows what he is hoping for.
“I’m not trying to get rid of you.” A small, telling reassurance. The low-key tone of the letter could be misread as cooling off; Charlie heads that reading off before it can start.
Scans
